Young girls, self esteem, and balancing messages

As the founder of a project focused on role models for girls and women, I was drawn to a blog post by Queen of Spain's blog about her 3 year-old daughter. Here is an excerpt:

"...she came home from preschool crying because another girl didn't like her new haircut. Of course it was quickly forgotten and the two girls are paling around as if nothing tearful had been exchanged.

It has begun and she is only 3.

I don't know how to stop it."

The blessing and the curse of sensitivity. Here we see the "curse" part. My heart just sank. I typed the following response, and encourage others to get in on the discussion.

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QoS,

What a gorgeous post. I remember watching, with mixed reactions, how people would fawn over my niece telling her how "gorgeous" she was. And she was, and is. However, when she was about 4 I taught her to say, "And I'm smart too." The balanced message, I hope (cross fingers cross fingers) is the way. My aunt used to sit me down and do my makeup when I was younger. It was awesome. She rocks. We had fun. But I understood what really mattered. She was a major groomer. She came from a family of groomers. I happened to be the more of the messier-food-in-my-hair-stuff-on-my-teeth gene pool. It didn't matter. She loved me. My family loved me. Good hair day, bad hair day. That is what I remember. I guess I can be my own "female media" to my daughter. What messages am I putting out there? Here is my ticker: Not heroin chic. Not air brushed. Yes shopping is fun. Yes makeup is fun. Ouch mommy poked herself in the eye doing makeup. Okay maybe makeup is not fun. Yes good brain. Yes good health. Yes good vibes. Yes love. Now let's go to SEPHORA! Seriously, though, I am balancing my messages, crossing my fingers, and hoping it works.

For those of you thinking "Hot Mommas?" No worries - code for "Dynamic Women" - we're a women's leadership project. You need neither be "Hot" or a "Momma" to join our posse. Maybe someone will write their case on our site and THIS will be one of the issues/learnings in the case. Would be great.